Lifeletter #139: The Flow of our Own Being

Sometimes, when I’m speaking or working with a group of people, I fall into a deep bodily sense of being held by a current of energy. This current is not like anything I could imagine with my mind. It’s not just flowing in one direction—it seems to be multi-directional, so that everyone in the group is giving and receiving all at once. And the more I am able to allow this energy to flow, the more I feel the circle of giving and receiving expand and open.

I know this is true with writing also. When I am doing any kind of writing or ‘written inquiry’ work with people, there is a often a sense that once a certain amount has been written, there is no more left to write. My experience is that the exact opposite is true. The more I write, the more there is to write. I have seen this again and again in my workshops. The unhindered flow of the writing opens a deep space inside, and out of that space, things emerge, with less and less effort. Sometimes it feels like a well—the more water you draw out, the more the deep pure spring water bubbles up from below. The conditioned mind has no idea what wants to come forth. It lives in a very narrow realm, cut off from the natural abundance of this source, this ground, that belongs to us all.

This is why it’s so important not to hold back, to let ourselves be naturally generous, and expressive. If we have not been encouraged and supported in this direction, we need help. Everyone needs this kind of help in their lives, at certain times. We may have developed a deep habit of holding back, of withdrawing certain parts of ourselves from the flow of life. When we begin to express, when we move into more transparency, we hit walls of self-doubt– fear and trembling take us over, and we can’t find the confidence to be fully ourselves, to speak up, to find our voice, our natural way of being in the world. We may seem okay on the surface, but when we begin to be more open and transparent, we touch parts of ourselves that feel frozen and paralyzed.

At these times it really seems like we are lacking, that we have nothing to give, that we are powerless and deficient. This is when we need the support of a strong and loving container, a space in which we can experiment with taking risks, even when we are shaky and vulnerable. I’ve seen people’s energy change in minutes when they are able to give themselves the freedom to be real, to speak from the truth of their own experience. How surprising to discover that when we stop holding back, when we reconnect with the flow of our own being, we liberate ourselves and nourish the people who receive us. We need to discover this not just once, but again and again, until a deeper trust is born in us. Until we know in our core that “everyone has inside them, what can I call it? A piece of good news.” (Ugo Betti)

The world asks of us
only the strength we have and we give it.
Then it asks more, and we give it.

 ~ Jane Hirshfield ~

 

with love,

Shayla