Embodied Transformation & Evolution

Our Real Superpower ~ The truth of our deepest potency & our will

Posted by on Mar 6, 2018 in Featured Writing, Lifeletters & Articles | 0 comments

Our Real Superpower ~ The truth of our deepest potency & our will

When I was young I used to study the stories of Don Juan and his apprenticeship with Don Juan, the Yaqui medicine man and shaman. I was fascinated by Don Juan’s teachings on intent: “Anything is possible if one wants it with unbending intent and you don’t let your thoughts interfere. A warrior actually affects the outcome of events by the force of her awareness and her unbending intent.”

I was so head centered in those days that I interpreted those teaching through my mind-I really had no idea what real will or intent was. It’s only now, a long time later, that my own true force of will is finally emerging. It is nothing that I thought it was.

“Will is something very special,” says Don Juan. “It happens mysteriously. There is no real way of telling how one uses it, except that the results of using the will are astounding. Perhaps the first thing that one should do is to know that one can develop the will. A warrior knows that and proceeds to wait for it.”

Our Real Superpowers

This is what I have found out over the last few years: the will force does not push or force, and I cannot push or force if I want to awaken my true will. It does not make things happen. It’s much more powerful than that; it’s connected with the very ground of my being, the reason for my existence. If I don’t know the reason for my existence, I will not be able to embody the power of my will. And to know, in my body and in my bones, the reason for my existence-this takes time. This kind of knowing unfolds, throughout my life. It emerges as I grow, as I encounter life directly, as I move forward, as I stumble and fall, as I drop into my heart and my belly. As I begin to face into the arrogance and the hardness of my mind.

“A warrior knows that he is waiting and knows what he is waiting for. It is very difficult, if not impossible, for the average person to know what he is waiting for. A warrior, however, has no problems; he knows that he is waiting for his will.”

I’ve had to wait a long time for my will. As I was waiting, I had to feel my longing, the ache of my deepest longing, the longing that shakes us to the core. I wasn’t strong enough, before this, to endure the power of my longing. To find that strength I had to drop deep into my heart, my core, my belly, and breathe through all that I had not yet been able to feel, in those places. My failures and betrayals were waiting for me there-all the ways in which I had compromised with what I longed for most deeply, with what life was asking me for. My ancestors were waiting for me in those parts of my body; the terror, rage, shame and grief they could not feel was passed along to me, through my DNA.

I felt all of this waiting for me, in my human body. And I heard this beautiful potency asking me to open to my deepest vulnerability, my fragility, my helplessness. Love brought me to this place, love brought me to my knees, where I could see the simple truth: to be human is to be wounded. Until I can touch my deepest pain with love, I cannot find my real potency. The wounded part of me cannot align with my true longing and intent; my wounded self wants something else. It wants to protect itself. It wants to hide, to shield itself, to belong, to build walls between itself and the wild river of life. It is terrified of what I really want, of my true will, of my deepest potency.

I thought will was something that came from the upper body, from light, from clarity. I was wrong. Our true potency emerges from the ground of our being, from the base of our body. Don Juan said this all along, but I never heard him: “Will is a force that emanates from the umbilical region through an unseen opening below the navel, an opening called the gap.”

This kind of potency is feminine. It gathers our energy, it grounds us, softens us, allows us to surrender to a rhythm that is slow and very deliberate, like the movement of the tides and the seasons. If we are in a hurry, we miss it. If we do not know how to reach out and ask for support, from our deepest vulnerability, we miss it. If we want to skip over our wounds and move forward before we have bathed them in our love, we miss it. If we cannot take in the support that life gives us, all the way into our core, we miss it. Without this deep receptivity, our true potency, our real will, cannot flower from the fertile ground of being. Our deepest power emerges from the strength of love, from a radical intimacy with life itself.

When our true potency emerges, we are not so afraid of being defeated. Our attention is on something bigger than the outcome of our actions. Our deep potency asks us to surrender, which is nothing like giving up. Giving up is not an option, once we align with our true intent. The love that we move with brings us into so much responsibility for our life, for the greater life we move inside of. This is more responsibility than we could ever have borne, before we knew that love was carrying us, that love is the force of true potency. When our true will awakens, we know that we are not alone. It’s not an idea, not a philosophy. It’s a truth that sobers us, and fills us with joy.

If you put your soul against this oar with me,
the power that made the universe will enter your sinew
from a source not outside your limbs, but from a holy realm
that lives in us.
~Rumi

with love,
Shayla

photo credit: Jorge Lopez on Unsplash

 

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