Learning to Be Here

yes, yes,
that’s what
I wanted,
I always wanted,
I always wanted,
to return
to the body
where I was born.
~Allen Ginsberg

It can be quite a shock, when you begin to see: you thought all this time that you were here, but you were not. Not all of you.

That’s what has happened for me, over the last few years. I discovered how much of myself I left behind. I had to learn to call those parts of myself back into my life, into my living breathing existence, into my body. It hasn’t been easy. I left these part of myself behind for very good reasons. The journey of restoration, of healing, of embodiment, is like having my head in the lion’s mouth. Instead of turning away, I’m staying right here, as much as I can, in the truth of my own raw, messy, vulnerable humanity.

We think we are here because we are not in touch with the flight we made from the body a long time ago. Or the decision that many of us made not to fully incarnate. Such a decision is a natural response to an invitation to enter a world that is unsafe. It looks like the soul took a good look at what the options were and said, “Well, I’m not so sure about this human thing. I’ll put a couple of toes in the water, but there’s no way I am coming all the way in-not yet.”

But now, things have changed. On this planet, in this time, in your town or city, in your circles, in your family-you are needed. All of you is needed. It’s time to be here. It’s time to feel the emotions that arise, when you are fully human. It’s time to learn how to unwind the imprints of pain, sorrow, anger, shock, fear and shame that have lived in your lineage for generations. It’s time to shine your awareness deep into the body, and find a home here.

It’s so lovely, once we land here. Bit by bit the belly opens, and the warmth and stability of earth rises up to steady our whole being. Our feet begin to talk to the earth and the earth talks back. We find a new voice, one that is full of power and tenderness both. We discover that something is calling us, beyond the polarities of comfort and discomfort.

This doesn’t happen quickly. There are moments of great revelation and there are setbacks, when we are thrown once again into the lion’s mouth. Learning to be here asks a lot from us. We can choose to show up, or not. Life on earth right now is like a warrior training. Meeting ourselves again and again, in the body. Learning to live with each other, to feel whatever is here, helping each other to navigate this wild ride. Sharing our fear, our confusion, our broken heartedness. Standing together in the lion’s mouth.

with love,
Shayla

art credit: Ana Teresa Barbosa